30 weeks,

30 Weeks! 30 Weeks! 30 Weeks!

Today I learned . . .

Today I learned . . .

. . . that anger does not make things better or for that matter make things go away.
. . . that darkness can only consume you if you let it.
. . . that it is okay to feel angry but what I do with the anger shapes how each day unfolds
. . . that consuming 3600 ml of water makes you pee a lot!
. . . that it is possible to lie on a couch for six weeks

Stable Mable

Once again we received good news. I continue to be stable and in what seems to be a holding pattern. The doctor was very excited that Wednesday I will be 30 weeks and that I have been stable for so long. I have been holding strong now for six weeks. Amazing. I even get to call the hospital and make and appointment to come and tour the labor and delivery floor just like a normal pregnant woman. I was given permission to be off of bed rest to make that tour and I cannot even begin to describe the reality of being a normal pregnant woman for a day. However, it would still be great to make it to 36 weeks so I won't get too excited and start running circles around the house. Although I will not lie, these thoughts have entered my head. I will go again on Friday for the fetal fibronectin test and hope again for a negative result. I have had so many visitors in the past six weeks and you have no idea what a gift that is for me. The days goes so much faster when I have some friendly faces to talk to. So for all of the meals, lunches, phone calls, on-line gift cards, movies, knitting lessons, magazines, and so much more, I thank you. I look forward to the day I can give back to someone else.

No appointment today

For those faithful readers this update is for you. My usual Friday appointment was changed to Monday because of the holiday. So needless to say next week I will have two doctor appointments, one Monday and one on Friday. Just didn't want some of you to worry. :)

Back by popular demand

Many of you have been asking for an updated picture of my ceiling. So here it is. As you can see we changed the hanging cards to the wall and have used the beam for snowflakes.
A wonderful friend from Iowa and her children made these for me. Iowa has lots of of snow, unlike us.
So they sent me some snow and now my boring ceiling beam looks much better. Thanks Annika, Braden, Tyson and Gabrielle!

True Statement

I have two true statements today . . .

1. Fetal Fibronectin test was negative! So no delivering in the next two weeks. Incredible!

2. Guitar Hero can be played lying down on your couch.

Stable Again

Today's appointment showed us to once again be stable. There were subtle changes but nothing to be concerned about and they sent me home. They did the fetal fibronectin test (this test tells if I will deliver in the next two weeks or not) again today but we will not find out the results until tomorrow. Today the doctor was very happy that we had reached 28 weeks as now is a much better time to deliver if things progressed that way. We got to look at the baby again today and received a very cute 3D picture. The pictures are finally starting to look a little more like a baby and a little less like a scary monkey. I will make sure and post the results tomorrow. Sleep well all.

My 5 Truths

So the days of bed rest are not always the brightest or the cheeriest days. With this knowledge a great friend of mine told me I have to think of 5 positive things for each day and I have decided to call these my 5 truths. So here are my 5 truths for the day:

1. I am pregnant one more day.
2. My best friend is my husband.
3. Warm Mr.J's bagels with cream cheese are the best.
4. A sleeping dog that snores and softly barks at dreams makes me smile.
5. I AM LOVED.

28 weeks!

Today is a big day as this baby is now 28 weeks old. The next goal is to make it 32 weeks. Today I came to the realize the following:

I realized today that I can rest and be calm.

As long as I am in a stable state, I need not worry.
As long as I am not having contractions, I can relax.
As long as I am not feeling pain, I can remain still.
As long as I focus on the liklihood of making it further, I can find hope.

As long as I have faith, I can find peace.

However, I continue to have these darn Braxton-Hicks contractions that make me nervous. My doctor assures me the only time I need to be alarmed is if I have more than 6 in an hour for two hours. So far I have not had anywhere close to this, it just makes me nervous and continues to challenge my above statement! The constant ebb and flow of bed rest emotions. Again thanks for the many thoughts and prayers. They are needed.

Rumblings from Dr. Suess

Today a great friend of mine came to give me my second lesson in knitting. Thanks MJ, you have saved me from hours of boredom! She asked me a profound question today. She asked if there are times that I just break down and have a good cry over this lying around business. The answer is YES. So I found this quote from the great Dr. Seuss and thought it very fitting for these moments of stir-craziness.

Sighed Mayzie, a lazy bird hatching an egg:
"I'm tired and I'm bored
And I've kinks in my leg
From sitting, just sitting here day after day.
It's work! How I hate it!
I'd much rather play!
I'd take a vacation, fly off for a rest
If I could find someone to stay on my nest!
If I could find someone, I'd fly away--free. . . ."
Horton Hatches the Egg by Dr. Seuss

Small Changes

Well today was another Friday which was another doctor's appointment. I now officially have enough ultra sound pictures to fill an entire baby book. Today is a mixed emotion day. There were some small changes present but nothing that the doctor felt was a cause for changes to be made. At this point it is really a matter of bed rest and hope. At this point we will not change anything unless I begin to have contractions regularly or my water breaks. I feel very cared for by my doctor and I think he looks at me as he personal victory battle. My situation is very unique and there are not many woman who have this condition, so he is watching me so closely. I also love my ultra sound technician as she truly has been put in my life to keep me going through these appointments.

Paul and I continue to remind ourselves that we are at 27 weeks and at a much better place than last year. Thank you to those of you that keep reminding me of this. Some of you have asked how you can pray specifically for us. At this point we are praying for calm minds, no contractions and that my water will not break. Thank you again for the countless e-mails, comments, cards and visits. It means so much to us and we cannot wait for the day we can give back to others.

Boring Ceiling

So I decided to include a lovely photo of what I stare at daily. I had a brilliant idea today as I stared at that familiar beam and I must say I am really quite proud of my creativity. I thought it would be a great idea to have Paul put up a string so we could hang all of our Christmas cards from it. That way I will at least have something to entertain me when I have nothing else to do. See what happens when you have been confined to your couch and three weeks have gone by. The craziness starts to set in and wild ideas evolve.

I have settled into a schedule and as another friend in bed rest told me, "the first three weeks are the hardest." I would have to agree. I am now getting used to this new way of life for now.

Technology is crazy

Again I am in awe at the amazing advances in technology. I just got off the phone with my doctor and the fetal fibronectin test came back negative, which means there is a 1 in 200 chance I will deliver in the next two weeks. In other words: good news! The doctors feel good about this test and we look forward to another two weeks knowing I will not go into labor. This will bring us to 28 weeks which is a huge week for lung development. With the knowledge of being on the couch for two more weeks, I have resorted to switching couches every few hours as I was beginning to see a dent in my sectional from the form of my body. Not attractive.

Stable

I am happy to be updating this blog from the comforts of my own couch. The appointment today went well as things have not really changed. They weren't any better but they weren't any worse. So I guess we will conclude that I am stable. I know some of you would beg to differ. We will not find out the results from the fetal fibronectin until tomorrow. We are just happy to be at home again for hopefully another week. Thank you again for all of the prayers, they are very much appreciated!

So Far . . .

So here is the update so far . . .

Before I begin let me say I do not profess to be a writer despite being an English teacher. I pay no attention to comma splices, run-ons or fragments for that matter. So those of you reading this, and YOU know who YOU are, back off and just read. :)

Two weeks ago I went to the doctor and they found that things were changing in the wrong direction. I was put on bed rest with a doctor's appointment four days later. So I went home preparing to be on moderate bed rest at home. A substitute was found for me and I never got to tell my students good-bye.

Four days later I went back to the doctor and they were so concerned at how things were changing they admitted me to UVA hospital for observation. Talk about freaking out! UVA was the last place I wanted to go but knew I needed to go. The only good news about traveling to UVA was that my favorite doctor was there waiting for me. She has the same story as I do and I needed to talk to someone who had been in my shoes. She was wonderful and gave me a hug as soon as she saw me. After spending three anxiety-filled days at UVA, we found that things had stabilized and I was able to go home for Thanksgiviing. This was a huge blessing as my family was coming from Iowa and I did not want to spend my days with them at the hospital.

Which brings me to today. I have now been on bed rest for the last two and half weeks. I could moan and groan about how horrible it is to know every crack in my celing and all of the places where the painter hit the ceiling instead of the wall, but I won't. I could be at the hospital right now and that is worse. Tomorrow I go to the doctor, again, for an ultra sound and a test called a fetal fibronectin. This amazing test can tell if I might deliver in the next two weeks or not. So far each time we have completed this test, it has come out negative, which is a good thing. Every day counts and even more so every week counts. We are praying for stability and a negative result from this test.

Consideration

After much consideration we decided to start a site for the many of you who care so much. It is our way to inform you of yet another dramatic journey we are traveling. Your thoughts and prayers are very appreciated and needed as we find ourselves in this anxious time. Each day counts as we wait for this little one to make it's way into the world. We will do our best to keep you updated and informed. Thank you again for the prayers!