3 1/2 months

So I am posting a few new pictures for those of you that are dying to see some (uhhmmmm Marsha are you happy now?) Enjoy.

Jenga- And the blocks fall down

Today my blocks fell. Today a student told me that I was having a bad hair day. I looked up to a student to happen to be having just as bad of a hair day by the way and I lost it. In a very comical way of course --but I lost it. You are probably thinking by now that I also have a few lose screws and I am sure by now if you actually take time to read these rambling thoughts you have come to find that I write like I talk. In broken, random sentences. I really haven’t lost my mind but there have been days I have come pretty close. Imagine the game Jenga. For those of you that haven’t played the game, it is a pretty funny game to watch someone else play. Basically a bunch of blocks are stacked in a strong tower and one by one players try to take a piece away from the once stable structure. With each move the tower begins to teeter and sway as the tower becomes unstable. Everyone holds his or her breath in anticipation as each player makes a move, knowing that all it takes is one wrong move and the entire tower will crumble. When the tower falls, it is amazing to see the way different people react. Some scream in the highest girls scream- seriously I have heard some very masculine voice be resorted to pitiful high pitch wails at the motion of a wobbling Jenga tower.

Over the past few weeks I have built a pretty impressive tower. My tower consists of many things that I am actually pretty good at. Each day I wake up and give 110% and scramble to do everything to the best but something will suffer. When anyone tries to do too many things at once you can’t do ONE thing well. So as I have come to learn about myself- I am the game of Jenga. I love so many things that I pile my blocks high and it works really well for awhile. Slowly, piece by piece is taken away and my blocks begin to fall until my entire tower come crashing down and I left to try and put it back together- which I usually do and I start all over again.

It is has taken me a long time to figure this out. Now that I know this I am going to try and lessen my block load. Maybe if I try and stack just a few-the crash won’t be so brutal. And of course I will be giving my hairdresser a call and find the poor student who was simply giving an opinion. :)

Remebering the Silence

Someone asked me the the other day if I was missing the days of bed rest now that I have a very active two month, almost three month old. Honestly. No. I am just not someone who craves to lie around. There is too much to do, to enjoy. However, that doesn't mean that I don't enjoy resting each night and there have been many nights that I have left my warm bed with a grumpy flourish to walk the whole 10 steps down the hall to answer the cry of a hungry infant. I can imagine from Paul's perspective the grumpy flourish can be more of a tidal wave some nights. However it is on nights like these when I find myself awake after yet another night of being up with Audra and find that despite sheer exhaustion I cannot sleep. For whatever reason times of deep quiet are when I think the best and realize many things. There is deep value in quiet and reflective times. I believe that is why it was created. SO I have come to stop fighting these episodes of awareness and just marvel in the awe of having a little girl who came at such a price.

For now I scrounged up some photos for those of you who can't seem to stop demanding more. Maybe this will quiet your roar until I finish school and actually have time to work on posting more. (Hmmm there are a few of you who will remain nameless, despite your persistant nagging- I have a feeling you just want a photo but I shall pretend you want to read my endless ramblings- I hope you realize that I am sacrificing sleep to post them! :)