The Berrys
Monday, February 2, 2009
The Silence in the Shadow
So the last few days have been interesting. I now take time to sit on my couch and view the room around me. Instead of seeing the cracks on the ceiling or my empty beam now that Christmas is past, I see the magazines that line the floor or the dust that has built up on top of the table. This makes me smile as I realize it does not matter what position I am in, I will always find something to fixate on. Those who know me well, know how dangerous this can be. Slowly I have been finding my "land legs" as I make my way back into vertical world. It is strange to go from such strict bed rest to so many changes. I still have to take it easy and spend most of my time on this couch. However, the kitchen is now void of those pesky daily crumbs and there is a load of laundry cleanly retiring by my feet as I write. It is these small things that make my day go by faster and I anticipate life beyond the confines of couch sitting and "being careful." I have learned much from this time spent lying still and have realized in the stillness is where I have learned the most. As happy as I am to be up, I also realize that I will never again have the time I have had to reflect and drink deeply from the quiet. There is a song you can now find on this blog that is called "I Believe in Love". The chorus says "I believe in the sun even when it is not shinning, I believe in love even when I don't feel it and I believe in God even when he is SILENT." The song was inspired by the very quote you find in the chorus. It was etched into the wall of a concentration camp by a man who spent the remainder of his days in a dark stone room. I don't know about you but when I am in my darkest times, I am not usually praising God. I continue to take from this song and begin to find what it means for life as well as ponder what it means to have your character formed in the valley instead of the mountain top.
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5 comments:
It is so hard walking through a dark valley. But every time when I have arrived at the other side, slowly climbing back up, I have realized God hasn't left me. It might have felt like it, but it was Him who sent His Angles on earth to encourage me, to call me, to write me; it was Him who carried me when I could no longer walk.
Isaiah 49:16 "I have you engraved on the palms of my hands"
When I have felt 'deserted', He was really working, unbeknown to me. I am always amazed at the vast number of people in the world and yet He knows me by name. He knows the very number of hairs on my head. (Matt. 10:27-31)
God has a plan for you my dear friend. And you are so right, our character is formed in the valley's of life, not the mountain tops.
You're almost to the top, keep looking up.
This resonates with me. Thanks for sharing your thoughts.
So let us embrace whatever sorrow God appoints for us. Let us not be ashamed of tears. Let the promise that joy comes with the morning (Psalm 30:5) sustain and shape our grief with the power and goodness of God. -John Piper
I don't always comment, but have been encouraged by keeping up on your writings. Blessings to you.
Tiffany (Stutzman) Dysktra
i mean Dykstra (i spelled my own last name wrong!) :)
Know that in some of your darkest times, you are being used to minister to others. The past few weeks I have been overwhelming blessed by the writings of friends who are going through difficult times. I almost feel guilty...I should be ministering to them, but the honesty and openness by which you are sharing....all I can say is Thank You.
It is so fun to read about your long journey. It is getting so exciting! I love to see your mom and get her updates, too. I pray for you and Paul and the baby often. Keep looking up or over or around, where ever you want to, now! Blessings to you.
love, ramona
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