Happy Mother's Day

To My Mom-  Thank you for everything- I now fully undertand how much you gave up for us.

These photos are from when she visited.  I am pretty sure that the flour you see flying never happened when I was little.  :)

Loving the Strong Willed Child at 4:00 a.m.

I recently read an article from a mother about her daughter.  It was actually a devotional so this is a glimpse of just how deep I was digging for inspiration on loving a very determined little girl.  Please don't misunderstand- I love my daughter deeply, I just don't always like the choices she makes.  :)  The short writing spoke of a mother praising her adult daughter for the very qualities she used to curse when she was little.  So the past few weeks, as we wrestle with so many behaviors, I have searched for the gift in the messy.  This is easier said then done, especially at four o'clock in the morning.

The last three nights have been a little rough around here.  Sickness has paved the way and left a grumpy, sleepless mother in the wake.  We have had countless sleep issues her in the Berry household but they don't have much to do with having a 3 month old.
The problems encompass the other child, who shall remain nameless, having trouble staying in bed.  So "she who shall not be named" appeared approximately at the bedside this morning at 4:00 a.m.  And by the side of the bed means, balancing on the side-board, looming, silently thumb sucking and clutching a dingy, limp blanket.

She is stealth.
She is silent.  

After a racing heart returns to normal, a sleepy mother stumbles down the hall dragging her daughter back to bed.  In between the jostling of three year old arms and legs, a voice is heard.  "My bed is wet."

What? 


 Wet?

Never. Has. This. Happened.

Dumbfounded, I screech to a halt and whip around.  What.  Your bed is wet?  Through matted 3 day old dirty hair a mumbled yes is heard.

Why? bounces off the walls a little loudly.

Her response- "because Daddy gave me too much milk."  Ha- poor man never stood a chance.  Rounding the corner of her room only brought more surprise.  The sheets were stripped clean of a wet soiled bed and placed neatly in her hamper.  A glance back at her brought even more disbelief as a new set of dry pajamas replaced the wet ones.  To be astounded by the fact that the strong willed, determined three year old not only changed herself but changed her bed as well.  A simple tuck in under the sheets was all that was needed.  The very thing that drives me crazy in every day life, bought her independence and the will to see a job to the end.  The only thing she needed was a hug good night.

GOOD NIGHT!  Good night.  Good night? 

Can I dare have hope that this phase of strong will and determination will some day bring forth a successful young woman who lets nothing stand in her way?  Will the very determination that drives this momma wild- bring tears to my eyes in the years to come?  I smile as I write this and continue to realize that life with this little girl- no matter how much I want to pull my hair out- will never be dull.  For now, a prayer will be said for the day a praise can be sung for the strong will and an embrace can encircle the determined heart.        

    

Happy Birthday Sweet Girl!

Audra celebrated her 3rd birthday on March 9th.  What fun we had.  I will let the photos speak for themselves. 

Loving the Messy

I have been forever changed by the past four years.  A journey of over 1,000 days has brought more pain, sorrow and redemption than I have ever known.  It is not something I want to repeat.  I do not relish digging through the deep, dark moments.   Slowly, the dark is finding light and I have been changed. 

Two years ago I stumbled upon the book 1,000 Gifts, by Ann Voskamp.  I opened the cover and began to drink up the words on the page.  After the first chapter I promptly slammed the book shut and with tears in my eyes placed it back on the shelf for another time.  The first chapter is pain.  It is sorrow. Too close to the center of my heart.  The time to dig deep into the messy places of the heart was not that day.  There is a time and place for that and it wasn’t then.  So the book stayed, on the shelf, cold and alone.  Kind of like my heart.  Last September rolls around and the imminent bed rest loomed over my head.  The first few weeks were painful and torturous as the memories of the last bed rest still shadowed my thoughts.  It became a struggle to stay flat.  It was darkness.  It was loneliness.  It was grief.  And so instead of fighting the tug to dig deep into the messy, I gave in and found 1,000 Gifts.  And my life was changed.  Maybe it was the way she writes, in broken sentences and the infamous fragment-my favorite way to write, with words tumbling over each other in a messy, fragmented mass of letters.  Pages and pages of Word documents underscored in green scribbles.  Perfect.  No worries of sentence structure, colon splices or run on sentences.  With each chapter the challenge become clear- find the gift in every moment.  Take the messy of life and search for the gift. Whether it take minutes or years, find the gift. 

“I am from the God of Redemption, who restores the years the locusts ate up, who writes new stories on pristine pages washed white with the blood of the Lamb-whose business is to work out all messes for glorious good.”

 “to restore the years of locusts” . . . to wipe away the tears . . . to laugh again . . .  to find new life . . . This is the promise that we only find a glimpse of in this life.  To “work out all messes for glorious good” . . . for good.  To find deep meaning in what comes after trauma, and crisis no matter the level.  To come to this place after a long journey only makes the end that much sweeter.  It is truth, it is real, it is solid this writing of new stories.  I find peace.  I find rest in knowing that there is a center to this madness. 

Here is to loving the messy.

And to finding the gift in all moments of life- even the messy ones.  

Warmth

May you experience warmth today . . .

Photo Time

And since I am too tired to try and write words, I will let the photos speak for themselves.  That is usually better anyway.  Enjoy.

Ellaryn Joy- The Meaning Behind the Name

In 2007, a family suffered much. The scars ran deep and their arms empty of two. The pain felt unending and the world cold. In 2009, the same family that had suffered much, now had arms theirs full of one. Covered by grace. In 2011, the same family that had suffered much now had their arms complete. Hallelujah, the great storm is over and it makes the peace in between that much sweeter. From a family that began as two, suffered much and ended as a family of six- we thank you.

 Now to meet Ellaryn Joy. 

 As we contemplated our names for this pregnancy it took us a long time to come to our final names. In the end, we found the meaning behind Ellaryn to be very fitting of our journey.  In Hebrew, Eliron means God is My Song. Under the many spellings of Eliron we finally made the name our own. Being a teacher directed the spelling of her name so that when people saw Ellaryn, they would hopefully know how to say it. To us she has been Baby El, Ellie or my personal favorite, Ryn.  The middle name of Joy came naturally as once again we made it through a journey of bed rest to find Joy. We have now been covered with grace and filled with joy. Again we thank you from the bottom of our hearts for your prayers, meals and constant thoughts. Your care of us, has proven to be a strong shelter in this time of need. We are blessed.

3 days later ...

Ellaryn Joy Berry was born at 8:35 pm. She was 6 lbs. 9 oz. and 18.5 inches long. More to come tomorrow.

Waiting . . .

Well today was suppose to be a big day but as you read this I am reporting from home.  After being monitored for a couple of hours and some contractions/cramping, I was sent home.  For those of you that like to know details, I am currently walking around 95% effaced and 3-4 cm dilated.  My doctor went ahead and put me on the schedule for an induction on Monday, January 16th at 7 am.  However, she thinks I will go sooner than that so now we are playing the waiting game.  All of my restrictions have been lifted and you can imagine the frenzy I have been organizing my house.  I am going to get as much completed as I can in the next few days.  Although I was really disappointed to come home, it will be very nice to organize life and home before having another addition.  It is now up to time and gravity.  Stay tuned!

And the baby's name will be . . .

This weekend my brother-n-law, Andy, was questioning Audra about the baby.

Andy:  "Audra, are you having a baby brother or baby sister?"

Audra:  "Baby brother."

Andy:  "What is his name going be?"

Audra:  without missing a beat "Carl"

So the baby will be Carl.  The End.