Each night, when I get Audra out of the bathtub, she loudly proclaims- "brrrrrr" and does this cute little shaking shiver. It makes me smile. She seems to find comfort in the acknowledgment of stating that she is cold. I quickly wrap her in a towel that brings warmth and comfort. As we approach the holiday season, I feel like Audra as I have been slowly “shaking off” the month of November. Time has passed, years have come and gone, yet two little boys still live in our hearts. Daily thoughts of them seem to be exaggerated as the month of November emerges. My great friend Kate, once describe grief to be like a cloak. Some days you wear the cloak tightly around your shoulders while other days you throw open the cloak. However, the cloak never leaves your shoulders. It is always there. A reminder of what you carry with you now and for days to come. And sometimes one hides themselves deeply in the covers of the cloak, sheltered in deep darkness. Waiting. Waiting for the day that the cloak doesn’t feel so heavy. Just waiting. We have come to recognize that no matter how much we prepare ourselves for this time of year, it always comes. Always steals our breath away. Always brings back the darkness. We have learned take refugee in this time and to spend it together. So in our togetherness, we decided that this year we would release balloons in honor of Jacob and Caden. As you can see from the photos, Audra was mesmerized by the flight of the balloons. I think this is a tradition we will keep for years to come. For now, we are slowly emerging from the depths of November and look forward to a season of love and warmth.
